YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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