You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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