No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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