Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
