You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
