We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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