Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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