I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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