wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
