I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
