i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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