I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
