wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
