some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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