well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Say something about gay babies.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize