Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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