we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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