what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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