Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
