I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
we're so committed to being not committed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
