Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
