Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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