I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
