In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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