Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
