sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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