I think I can smell my own vagina right now
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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