That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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