Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
