census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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