That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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