goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize
