i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
