Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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