His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
