vagina is talking i cant
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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