This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize