I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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