why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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