This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
