But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
