we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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