He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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