I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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