I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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