This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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