can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
