Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
