Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
