We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
