There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Randomize
