I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
