it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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