they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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