one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
