Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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