if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
